This is by far one of the best books I've ever read. Among other things, Welch takes on the idea so common today that things like shyness and so-called low self-esteem are morally neutral psychological problems to be overcome and calls them what they are, the sinful fear of man.
The book's main theme is that the fear of man is idolatry which must be repented of and replaced by fear of the Lord. It is broken into two main parts. The first part concerns how and why we fear people and part two discusses what how to overcome that fear and replace it with the fear of the Lord. I will give an overview of each part using quotes from the book.
- HOW & WHY WE FEAR OTHERS
"We are more concerned about looking stupid (fear of man) than we are about acting sinfully (fear of the Lord)"
"Fear of man is always part of a triad that includes unbelief and disobedience."
"When feelings become more important than faith, people will become more important and God will become less important."
The bottom line for this section is that the fear of man is a work of the flesh. The flesh cries out for significance, to be petted and indulged and given free reign. When it cannot have those things, it pouts, becomes jealous, gets depressed, experiences "low self-esteem," etc. Only by taking our eyes off of ourselves and putting them onto God can we quench the desires of the flesh.
- HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF MAN
We Must Grow in the Fear of the Lord
"The person who fears God will fear nothing else"
"Since there is no room in our hearts to worship both God and people, whenever people are big, God is not."
"The goal is to establish a daily tradition of growing in the knowledge of the Lord."
"When a heart is being filled with the greatness of God, there is less room for the question 'what are people going to think of me?' "
"The key to learning the fear of the Lord is to stay in scripture."
We must Biblically Examine our Felt Needs
"When psychological needs, rather than sin, are seen as our primary problem, not only is our self-understanding affected, but the gospel itself is challenged."
"Jesus did not die to increase our self-esteem."
"Jesus does not intend to satisfy my selfish desires. Instead He intends to break the cup of psychological need (lusts), not fill it."
"To look to Christ to meet our perceived psychological needs is to Christianize our lusts."
"Without repentance, our desires remain the focal point instead of God's glory."
"Jesus did not die to increase our self-esteem."
"Jesus does not intend to satisfy my selfish desires. Instead He intends to break the cup of psychological need (lusts), not fill it."
"To look to Christ to meet our perceived psychological needs is to Christianize our lusts."
"Without repentance, our desires remain the focal point instead of God's glory."
Know Your Real Needs
"The most basic question is 'how can I bring glory to God', not 'how will God meet my psychological longings'. "
"Self-serving needs are not meant to be satisfied; they are meant to be put to death."
"The most basic question is 'how can I bring glory to God', not 'how will God meet my psychological longings'. "
"Self-serving needs are not meant to be satisfied; they are meant to be put to death."
Delight in the God Who Fills Us
"God's word, not feelings is our standard."
"If we want to be filled so that we can feel happy and better about ourselves, then we will never be truly deluged with God's love."
"The blessing of being more like Jesus is greater than the hardship of the refining fire."
"...repent of seeking God so you can feel better about yourself. Then think about Jesus through the story of Hosea. Ask God to teach you about this (kind of) love."
"If we want to be filled so that we can feel happy and better about ourselves, then we will never be truly deluged with God's love."
"The blessing of being more like Jesus is greater than the hardship of the refining fire."
"...repent of seeking God so you can feel better about yourself. Then think about Jesus through the story of Hosea. Ask God to teach you about this (kind of) love."
Love Your Enemies & Your Neighbors
"Need other people less, love other people more."
"Pick and enemy and a neighbor and being to pray for them."
"Look for opportunities to surprise someone outside the body of Christ with love."
"Pick and enemy and a neighbor and being to pray for them."
"Look for opportunities to surprise someone outside the body of Christ with love."
Love Your Brothers & Sisters (Christians)
"Christians need less and love more."
"People-pleasers can mistake 'niceness' for love."
"It (niceness) may mean that we will entrench the sin patterns of other people."
As with Solomon in Ecclesiastes, Welch comes to the 'conclusion of the matter,:
LOVE GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS
Certainly easier said than done but absolutely worth the effort! As one who has often struggled with the 'fear of man' this book was very helpful to me. It helped me to frame the issue correctly, understanding that when I fear men I am in sin and need to repent. It also helped me to frame the issue of love correctly. I love others when I am truthful with them about the gospel and about their sin when necessary. Fear of man keeps me from saying things that need to be said for fear of disapproval whereas fear of God allows me to love a person enough to tell them what they need to hear, regardless of what their reaction may be.
I would highly recommend this book to any believer who struggles with this issue or who just wants to be more in tune with God's will for their life and their relationships.
"People-pleasers can mistake 'niceness' for love."
"It (niceness) may mean that we will entrench the sin patterns of other people."
As with Solomon in Ecclesiastes, Welch comes to the 'conclusion of the matter,:
LOVE GOD AND KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS
Certainly easier said than done but absolutely worth the effort! As one who has often struggled with the 'fear of man' this book was very helpful to me. It helped me to frame the issue correctly, understanding that when I fear men I am in sin and need to repent. It also helped me to frame the issue of love correctly. I love others when I am truthful with them about the gospel and about their sin when necessary. Fear of man keeps me from saying things that need to be said for fear of disapproval whereas fear of God allows me to love a person enough to tell them what they need to hear, regardless of what their reaction may be.
I would highly recommend this book to any believer who struggles with this issue or who just wants to be more in tune with God's will for their life and their relationships.
2 comments:
Hey Larry,
Over the summer, I bought this book at your recommendation and I have to agree it's fantastic. The only "problem" is that the advice is so simple, so obvious, that it takes a long time to learn how to apply it. It takes the normal ebb and flow of life situations (with this stuff rolling around in your mind) to bring you to the realization "oh, so that's how the fear of man shows up in my life!"
It's definitely not a read-once-and-shelve-it book, but not because it's so hard to read (I thought it was very accessible; you could probably distill the essential content into about 20 pages). You need to read it more than once with a lot of time between readings so the simple contrast between the fear of the Lord and the fear of man (as it manifests in your life) comes into crisp focus.
Hi Hugh, thanks for the comment. I agree totally. Right now in fact I'm re-reading 'The Mortification of Sin' by John Owen, another one of those books that should be read over and over in my opinion. I'll re-read this one as well and I'm sure I'll find new things to tackle in my life as a result!
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